Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Figuring Out Christmas

So let me start this post by saying this loud and clear. What you do for your family is what's right for your family, and what we do for ours, is right for ours. When I talk about what we've decided/want to do surrounding Christmas for our family, that in no way negates what you've done/will do and it should not make you feel defensive. K? Just putting that out there because mommy wars be rough, yo. We've all got enough going on without having mommy guilt because of what someone else is doing that is unrelated to us ;). I thought I'd share our journey to the Cash family Christmas experience and some of the thoughts/ideas that have gone into it. It's a work in progress.

We've talked a LOT about Christmas over the past year or so to try to decide what we want it to look like in our home. Here are some of the things we've come up with:

  • I have always been drawn to the "something to wear, something to read, something you want, something you need" idea. However, I know I am unlikely to stick to that, but I want to use it as a *guide* to help us have small but meaningful Christmases. One of my fears is doing Christmas big and then realizing in 5 years or something that it isn't sustainable, and then our children noticing the stress we have and the change the next Christmas. So we really want to keep Christmas more about other faith, family, food, and fun with gifts being a perk, and hopefully avoid that problem. 
  • Stockings are done on St. Nicholas Day here, since that's where the tradition comes from. The first year it was a bit hard on Christmas day not having a stocking to open, since that's a great memory from growing up, but it's also fun for me that the stocking gets it's own "show" and it fits in so great with the story of St. Nick. I love the chance to talk about a saint and work fun into that! Steven and I have done it this way the last 2 years and are looking forward to doing it this year with Felicity (December 6th if you were wondering).
  • Speaking of St. Nick, we haven't solidified this yet, but we're leaning towards not doing secular Santa and doing St. Nick instead, but with more of a historical and less of an imaginary slant. I think we'll phrase it like St. Nick is bringing things for the stocking, but also sharing the story of why the tradition is place, coupled with the fact that he's a saint in Heaven. If their imaginations run wild so be it; if they ask questions we'll answer honestly. We aren't anti-Santa at all, but I prefer the St. Nick is Santa Claus (since he actually is!) way of doing it. It might be a bit confusing since St. Nick will have brought our stockings and then we'll still see him in malls and stuff after, but that's a bridge we'll cross when children are old enough to question, I guess. I certainly don't want our kids ruining Santa for anyone else, but I also don't want to feel pressured to "do Santa" simply for that reason. I have fundamental issues with using Santa as a way to make kids behave, but I do recognize that we could do Santa without the manipulation factor. I think there's enough excitement in Advent and Christmas that we aren't ruining any Christmas "magic" by not relying heavily on Santa. But who knows. We reserve the right to change our minds as we have a few years before we really have to stick with what we're doing. So, for now, St. Nick brings stockings and mommy/daddy bring Christmas gifts. 
  • At some point we'd like to establish a "1 toy in, 1 toy out" routine. I don't say rule because I know it won't always work that way. But say Felicity gets 5 toys for Christmas, I don't think it's unreasonable to thin out 5 toys, whether to storage, to sell, or to donate. If she gets 5 and we thin out 3, I still call that a win. Our toy storage space is finite so it's kind of necessary, but I also feel like she plays with things more the less clutter we have around. Plus, we can work in all kinds of lessons around giving, having excess, etc.
  • Besides the first few years that Felicity won't remember (probably just this year and next), we want to have Christmas in our home. We always stayed home when I was little, and it was so nice to hang out in our jammies and play with our new toys until it was time to eat. We will likely go to church on Christmas day most years, but other than that I want to just stay home. 

(pictures not related to the post except that they are of my precious baby and the post is about Christmas for our baby :P) 

With that being said, here are my Christmas planning tips and trip ups! I have to add both because I am clearly not a seasoned pro when it comes to shopping for little ones. So I figured I'll share both what has worked, and what's caused some head scratching!


  • Shop consignment sales, stores, and b/s/t groups. There are tons of consignment sales in the fall, consignment stores are always open, and areas like ours have sooo many kids' buy/sell/trade groups on facebook. You can find really amazing deals from people who are wanting to get rid of toys before they get new ones for the holidays! I would say maybe 80% of Felicity's toys are used, and of the 20% new, we might have bought 5% of those. We LOVE used stuff in this house! Most of her Christmas gifts are used or, as I like to call them, pre-loved :).
  • Shop online around black Friday. Cyber Monday isn't the only day for online deals. They happen all around the week of Thanksgiving. If you're looking for something that you're running out of time to find used, or you really want to buy a particular thing new, this week is a good time to do it. There are all kinds of things on sale! Try not to get sucked into the problem of finding things you didn't know you needed. ;)
  • Buy long lasting toys like wooden toys or books. I didn't want much plastic stuff in our house originally but, practically, most toys given to us are plastic and plastic doesn't hurt when Felicity bonks her head on it like wood does. I've learned that plastic isn't evil :P, but I do prefer to get quality, wood toys when I'm going to spend more (like for Christmas). I think they encourage a bit more imagination than their battery powered counterparts, and I just love the timeless look of wood toys. We got Felicity a used B. Zany Zoo cube for $15 for Christmas this year, almost perfect condition when they sell in the store for $65. So we got a bargain AND a good wood toy that will last through many babies. And books don't need an explanation. You can never go wrong with books, except with where to store them. But I find that a good problem to have :). 

Trip ups:

  • Buying TOO MUCH from consignment, etc. It's sadly easy to get wrapped up in the "more, more, MORE" attitude of Christmas. Let's face it, it's fun, even! But deals stop being deals when you're going broke buying them lol. I try to only buy stuff that I was already looking for. So, for example, if I want a specific toy for Felicity, I scour sales and groups for it but try to not buy other things on impulse. Sometimes I'm more successful than others. 
  • Buying something for a young child months in advance and then their tastes change. I got Felicity a small, wood bead maze over the summer that I thought would be perfect for her stocking, because she was LOVING bigger bead mazes. Can I just say how lucky I feel that she still likes bead mazes? In the scheme of babyhood, 5 or so months is a LOT. It's hard to predict what a child will like months from now when you find a good deal, so it could turn out to be  a bust. I hope this gets easier to predict as she gets older! 
  • Buying everything early, and then seeing more or still wanting to shop. So I mostly had Felicity's Christmas done by early October, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more when I see awesome deals on great toys! I have mostly been able to talk myself out of purchasing more, but have added a few small things. The fact is, though, that if I keep buying and buying, things are no longer a good deal and I ruin that whole "wanting to teach my kids that Christmas is more than gifts" thing! If I can't do it this year when she won't even know it's Christmas, I'm doomed when she does "get" Christmas! I'd say I get a B- this year... room for improvement, but I didn't do terribly.  

And, last, you may be wondering what to put in a stocking for a baby. I was wondering, too, but I accumulated a nice collection of items over the past few months of looking!

Filling a stocking for a baby:
  • Small toys that are good for the diaper bag, car, or church. I find Felicity is entertained longer if she has toys that are only used for those situations. So, for example, she has a paci and "cell phone" that she only gets in the car, and a chew bead rosary she only gets at church vs having all the toys available to her at all times. Those smaller toys are great to put in stockings! Try to avoid just buying stuff to have something. I purposefully look for something I think Felicity will like and use, like the small bead maze since she loves big ones. 
  • Bath toys are often small-ish and fit well. We don't have many bath toys so I picked one up at Ikea a month or so ago.
  • Board books. These may not actually fit in the stocking but I felt like Christmas related board books were perfect to give towards the beginning of advent. Next year, I want to get her the Story of St. Nick for St. Nicholas Day but it wasn't in the budget by the time I thought of it this year (trip up!).
  • Squeezie pouches. I'm not doing any of these this year because I have plenty of other things, but a good space filler would be a new flavor (or heck, one they've already had before) of squeezie pouch food since they can't have candy. Along the same lines, teething biscuits or puffs would work, too.
  • Special ornaments. This year we are putting a "Happy Birthday, Jesus" ornament in Felicity's stocking. I hope it helps her to remember what we're actually celebrating as we put it on the tree each year! 

Anything you'd add to any of the categories? Clearly I have way too much fun with this stuff :). Happy Advent and, if you want to celebrate St. Nicholas day, you still have a few days to get some things together. It's a lot of fun! 


  1. We do only St Nicholas too. Also, Lucia does not get Christmas or birthday gifts from us since she gets them from everyone else. We get her things randomly, for feast days, etc. when other people aren't giving her gifts already. Plus, the girl just does not need anything!

    1. I've been thinking about that as I've attended more and more children's birthday parties in the past year or so. It seems the party the parents throw, no matter how small or big or simple or elaborate, is money spent and a show of love...and the child receives SO MANY PRESENTS from friends and family! At least when they're young.

  2. We don't do Santa in the traditional sense either. We fill shoes for St. Nick's day and then do stockings from us on Christmas and the three kings and the Befana come visit with three gifts on Epiphany. That being said, it's because my oldest adamantly is scared of Santa at almost 5 still that we just skip him. The grandparents still hold on to Santa though, so we just try to go along with it whenever it's mentioned, but my oldest will definitely speak up about his opinions. We've tried a lot of different things in the past 5 years, and this what currently works for us.

  3. We've been reading lots of Christmas stories, secular and religious. At least at this point our son hasn't asked questions and he seems to look at Santa the same way he looks at sports mascots that he's been around! We didn't do St. Nicholas day this year, it wasn't something I grew up with. We're trying to keep things small with gifts and not go overboard although it is so tempting! We have a budget, and we've stuck to it, some of it goes toward college funds. I'm really trying to push for that from both grandparents since that's what I got growing up from grandparents - money for college and one small gift. It's hard... I read a really great article recently about grandparents going overboard, but applies to anyone who buys your children a gift- http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/grandparent-giving-unspoken-secrets-you-must-know.

    And one last thought... I totally agree on books. Having too many is a good problem to have. :)