Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What I Wish I Would Have Known!

Yes, here I am again, posting on another marriage related topic that I don't feel qualified to talk about. I wonder if I will still feel that way in 5 or 10 years? Anyway, Katie is hosting this awesome link up on advice for newlyweds, so join in if you have something you want to share! Here is advice from a newlywed to a newlywed (also known as, 'read this while eating from a salt shaker').

Hands down, the thing I wish someone would have told me was that life does NOT slow down after the wedding is over! For months and months, we were feverishly planning the wedding, keeping up with our jobs, and trying to actually work on the impending marriage (not just the wedding). We had tons of fun, but it kept us so busy! Part of what kept us sane was talking about doing a lot of nothing after the wedding. We would be waist deep in decorating reception candles or filling favor boxes. One person would have that glimmer in their eye that could only mean "If you make me do one more wedding related thing, I will vomit" and the other person would say "Hey, after the wedding, we get to just sit on the couch and stare at a wall!". We would get starry eyed for a minute, and then be able to finish tackling said wedding project.

Then we came back from the honeymoon and I have said, and still maintain, that life was crazier the 3 months after the wedding than the 3 months before! Now, I thought it was just because we were house hunting, closing, and painting/cleaning the new house. But I posted in my beloved Cathsorority about it, and it seemed to be a general concensus that life pretty much never slowed back down again and that it just became the new normal. At about 3 and a half months out, I can see how that would happen and I'm having to mourn a bit of our former lives. Our life is wonderful and we are in a place I never imagined we would be (physically, spiritually, and emotionally), but the days are passing me by so fast that my head is spinning. I am trying so, SO hard to enjoy this phase because I know (well, I hope) that babies aren't that far off and, as Steven reminds me when I begin googling Melissa and Doug toys, we will never have this phase of our marriage back. So take it from a newlywed who is trying so hard to revel in the here and now as the calendar pages keep turning without my permission, life probably won't slow down again! So find those quiet moments and really revel in them. For us, it has become a 20 minute cuddle before we need to do some work around the house, or stealing a quick lunch in the middle of the work day, or talking to the other person as they shower so we have the opportunity to start the day together. Get creative and find ways to just be with each other, outside of events, and work, and house buying, and thank you card writing because the most important thing is staying connected with your new spouse as you learn how to be married.

 At that moment, no one else existed. I don't think I even knew my sister was right there! I was in my own little world with my husband, and that's what we try to recreate, even if just for a few moments, every day. 

Stealing a moment with my brand new husband as we waited for the church to empty out for pictures.

1 comment:

  1. precious pics! and you are right, setting aside time together daily, is so crucial. good for you.